Mr. Nelson's secret diary was leaked to the public for the first time, and boy oh boy there's some juicy secrets. Here are the only seven that we are permitted to print.

1. Ripped Pants

In high school, Mr. Nelson was famous among his peers as an actor. However, during a performance of Romeo and Juliet, the unthinkable happened. Mr. Nelson starred in the production as Juliet. The play was going wonderfully, until they got to the scene with the bushes. As Mr. Nelson (Juliet) bent down, his pants loudly split in front of an auditorium packed with people. Mr. Nelson, using his incredible acting talent, was able to play it off as intentional, improvising the line, "My pantaloons doth split!"

2. Might Actually Be Spiderman

Mr. Nelson has never once been seen in the same room as Spiderman. Mr. Nelson is also insanely strong, being able to throw eggs so fast they break against a blanket. Furthermore, they both have instant reflexes and are incredibly witty. This also explains his deep understanding of tension and other advanced physics forces.

3. Fished In A Fish Tank

When Mr. Nelson was a kid, he went fishing in his fish tank. "Why?" you ask? It was fun, "kind of cool" in fact. And they were African Cichlaids, a very rare fish in Wisconsin. Mr. Nelson caught one entire African Cichlaids, it was apparently very impressive.

4. Often Wonders If He Should Buy Two Different Shoe Sizes

One of Mr. Nelson's feet is a half-size larger than the other. At times, he's considered purchasing two pairs of the same shoe in slightly different sizes and wear one of each. However, he's waiting to find his Shoe Buddy with the opposite of his feet before he makes the investment.

5. Lived The Scene From Stand By Me

"When I was 11 or 12, I was playing in the woods and I was crossing a really long railroad bridge," said Mr. Nelson. "In my head, I was thinking Man, it would be bad if a train were to come now." As soon as Mr. Nelson got off of the bridge, a massive freight train zoomed by.

You can watch the Stand By Me scene here:

6. Only Knows How To Play Kirby In Super Smash Bros

Mr. Nelson is a Kirby main in Super Smash Bros. The Smash Bro dissapointment claimed that due to "time constraints," he was unable to learn a new character. Even stating "Up B, down B, that's all you gotta do." His Kirby spam is one of the most diappointing aspects of his identity. We advise any of you that do such a thing, seek help.

7. Forced Himself To Like Black Coffee To Impress A Physics Teacher

When Mr. Nelson was a student teacher, he was in a meeting with one of his mentors, who was making coffee for another physics teacher. As he was making the coffee, he turned to Mr. Nelson and said, "Real physics teachers only drink black coffee." He internalized that fact and, to this day, only drinks black coffee.